Wow...I can hardly believe that we are at nearly six and a half months. We are literally 14+ weeks and counting before our new little man joins us. Hard to believe. This pregnancy has gone by so fast. It seemed slow for only a few weeks there, but now it all of a sudden sped up again. JR is so cute about it too. Nearly every night before he goes to bed he says goodnight to Rob and myself, and then he gives us hugs and kisses, but when it is my turn, he also says goodnight baby and kisses and hugs my tummy. He is going to make a great big brother I think. As long as he can get past the jealousy that he may have when he doesn't get 100% of our attention. But hey, he sure isn't the first kid to have to go through this. We seem to be having quite the tough time trying to come up with a name for this Jellybean. Rob and I can't seem to agree on anything at all. It is frustrating to an extent for me as I have found a lot of names that I like, but he seems to not even want to think about it. I am afraid that this will be baby No-Name until he is born. Maybe even beyond that. But one thing is for sure, we won't be leaving the hospital until he has a name because we are not allowed....They have to have the registration papers signed and filled out properly before you can leave. So that is a good thing at least.

Rob has not had much work lately but he has been doing a little bit. Things are really slow for the business right now with the economy being where it is. But he has a meeting tomorrow with a company in sales and marketing. Which is something he has been looking to get into for a while. He would do very well in the field as he is very knowledgeable about plumbing that I am pretty sure he would end up being the top person in his field. And yes, I think he is just THAT good. :-) Maybe I am just biased, but I am supposed to be. And the best part is, this company sought him out. They came to him. So obviously they heard about him from someone else who has complete faith in his abilities also. We will still keep the company for some side work if it comes in for a little extra on the side because we, like everyone else out there, can use all that we can get these days.

JR has been doing just fantastic in school. We just had his second IPP meeting and they are recommending him for another year in the program. Sadly from his speech assessment and the testing they did, his in-home consultant says that he may not be eligible based on his scores. Which is frustrating for us because we feel that he will fall behind if he is not in the program. The way it works (which is another frustration) is a child with great communication skills but no comprehension is able to be accepted into the program, but a child with good comprehension and not a lot of communication skills is not elegible for the program. So I am apparently not to be holding my breath. So next year we will most likely be having to pay for a preschool program that doesn't have the accesibility to the therapist that he needs and it will hinder him for the rest of his school years. That is the way I am taking what was said to me. It saddens me very much that JR (who is such a smart kid) will most likely end up in special needs classrooms because he wasn't able to use the program available to him to his full potential just because he can understand better than the other kids. He still can't fully communicate. Anyways, enough of my little rant. He is still a great kid and we all love him!!

As for myself, I have just been keeping busy with making things and plans for Jellybean. I have been crotcheting and looking through books and such. Other than that, nothing too special going on with me. So that is that. Take care everyone

Some days just are better than others...

You know, some days are just way better than others for updating your blog. Although I know for a fact that I am not nearly as diligent as Roxanne. Woman, I wish I had half your talent and ability to do all of the amazing things you do in a day. But this morning, waking up to what I woke to, holy makeral, I just had to sit and take a moment to reflect on the happeneings from the past few weeks.

Just after Valentines day, my Grandmother passed away. She would have been 78 on March 15. We are all so glad that her struggle with her health is over though. She had so many troubles that it was so hard to see her suffer. Her funeral took place a little longer after she passed than most do as my Auntie was away in Florida and there was no way we were having Grandma's funeral without her baby there. So my Mom came up from Utah a little early and went to the funeral home and dressed Grandma and did her hair and makeup and just spent some time with her to say good bye in private. My Mom is so good at doing that. Being able to dress and makeup the people that we love that have passed on. It takes an incredible person to be able to do that. But then again, it is just their body, their spirit has moved on to better places. I took the kids down to the funeral on March 3rd and the service was just beautiful. We were blessed to have a gorgeous day in between all of these yucky days that we had been having. The funeral took place in Cardston where the norm is an incredibly windy day being so near the mountains. It was +7 degrees, mix of clouds and sun, and not an ounce of wind. It was so very peaceful and just the way that Grandma would have wanted it. She looked so beautiful with the work that my Mom had done. I had not seen her that beautiful in so many years. She reminded me of the Grandma I knew and remembered. My Dad officiated the service and it was just a small graveside one and it was just beautiful to see family and even two of my Dad's brothers came to the service which showed their deep support of my Mother and her family. (I know the picture is a little small, but you can click on it to enlarge. I have no clue how to scan into a good format that isn't huge on my computer. ) It really was a gorgeous program and everything about the funeral was great. So that was last week.

Now on to other things, we had an ultrasound on Monday the 2nd and found out that we are indeed having another boy. We still have no clue what we are going to name him, but Jr is under the impression that we are going to name him Bart. (I think not!!) But we will let him think that for now. Rob and I just can't seem to agree on a name for this little guy so you know what? We may just leave it alone and name him when we see him. I don't think that is a terrible thing to do. Although all the people asking us is kinda starting to drive me nuts. We have no idea what we are naming him and haven't even come up with any possiblilites whatsoever. So let's just leave it at that for now and if we come up with something, we will be sure to let everyone know. But for now, he is still Jellybean to me. And I am pretty sure he always will be :-D. What I can't believe is that the ultrasound place charges you 15 dollars to get just 1 single picture of your baby. Seems a little far fetched to me. I am not entirely sure how they can justify that at all. And the one that we got was super crappy because the poor boy just was not about to sit still. So here it is just for curious eyes. (Ok, so I am so not good at putting pictures where they belong, I still need a little help with Blogger to learn to put my pictures in their right places. Care to donate some time Roxanne? LOL!)

And since Roxanne tagged me in her blog, I may as well do this thing now seeing as I am sitting here. The 6 Random things about me.....

1. I have this one on my Facebook but it is one of my favorites. I am not, nor have I ever been an imaculate house keeper. You can't eat off my floors and there is dust on almost everything. My floors are not always clean and I have a collection of many things in nearly every corner and surface of my house. I like to call it my organized mess. I do however hate the fact that I am not very good at cleaning and am at times embarrassed about it. But I will not apologize for who I am, being clean or not does not reflect on the type of wife and mother I am. I do not agree with people who judge others on the way they keep their home. My home is tidy and I am working every day to improve on my skills simply for the fact that I don't like living the way that I used to. But I will not walk into someone else's home and think that because they are neat freaks and have nothing out of place that they are snobs, neither will I think that someone who's floors you can't see at all are bad people because it doesn't seem as though they have time to do it. I have seen people with both types of houses that are equally as busy with the same amount of children. So yeah, I really don't like people who justify judging someone else just by the way they keep house.

2. I come from a mix of two very different families. I was adopted as an infant and was adopted into a very religious Mormon family with very deep morals and beliefs in a lot of things. When I was 21 I met my biological mother and discovered the very big difference between my families. Both my Mother and my Mom are unique and wonderful individuals. My biological mom Yvonne is a firey woman. She is easy to loose her temper (not unlike myself) when she knows that no matter what, she is right and you are wrong. However quite the opposite with her children. My Mother Cheryl, is more patient than any one person I know. Sometimes more patient than she should be. Yvonne is high energy and a go getter. Cheryl is soft spoken and diligent. Both have the biggest hearts. Their families mean the world to them and they ask nothing more than to love and be loved in return. Their children and grandchildren are their world. I have two very wonderful examples of the type of woman I want to be as I grow and learn from them both. They are indeed my best friends and I love them both so much.

3. I believe that Rob is truely the one that I was meant to be with in this life. He compliments me and infuriates me in every possible way. They always say that opposites attract and I tend to agree, but even with the two most opposite of people, there are bound to be so many similiarities that it is hard to remember which are which. I have tried to sit and think of what my life would be like had I have never met him, but luckily, I have yet to come up with any good scenario of what that would be like. After nearly five years together, my heart still flutters and a smile crosses my lips when I look at him, or even see a picture of him. He makes me laugh even when I don't feel like laughing and I have loved to learn to accept the parts of him that I didn't used to like. He makes me completly happy and I have loved getting to know him and look forward to the many more years that I have to continue to learn about him.

4. My adopted dad Ron is my hero. I am pretty sure that he never knew that, but he really is. The things that I have watched him do while I was growing up just had me in awe at times. He always had the softest shoulder when I was hurt or crying or when my mother was hurt by the life that I was living, but was so strong and solid when he knew there were things wrong going on. He was a rock for our family when we thought that we were not going to make it when he lost his job. He did whatever he could to make sure that we would keep the roof over our head and food in our mouths. And his greatest love in this world is my mother. I have the greatest respect in the world for a man such as him who would make the most difficult desision to choose his wife over his child. The way I used to treat my mother was horrible and he said to me once that though he will always love me because I am his child, he would in no way sit back and allow me to do the things I was doing to my mother any longer. And she would always come first. What a strong impact and realization that was to me. I thank him to this day and know that his example is one of the greatest and what a man it takes to love a woman just as much as he loves my mother.

5. It is so great to see the two very different children that I have brought into this world. They both are so unique in their talents and their attitudes and personalities. Ashleigh is so good at art. She can draw so well and I am so proud of that. Her reading also is above her grade level. She is in the fourth grade and is able to read at a seventh grade level. What a great accomplishment for her. And she is such a wonderful bog sister who is so typical when it comes to her "pain in the butt" brother. She is a little sad that she gets to have another. LOL. And JR, what a little character. He is so vibrant and colorful. We have learnt to just appreciate the things that he has come to learn to do without the ability to communicate well. His life is so full of energy and amazing things. His imagination is so great and almost everything is a big monster or a race car. I can't wait to see the new things that come of these kids of mine as they continue to grow and expand in their lives and knowledge. I also am so anxious to see the new personality of Jellybean too. If I gave birth to these two very different children already, a third will only be that much more different I hope. I want to see all of the talents that life can hold for my kids.

6. Lastly, I think that I watch far too much television. I have far too many shows that I watch but thankfully, I am starting to bring that down. My daytime television time has come down dramatically. It is mostly now when I am curled up in the evening with my hubby that I watch the most now. I still think that with so many creative projects on the go that I should sit down and do them more than sit and watch TV. But that is yet another of my great downfalls.

So that's it for me. I am supposed to tag some other people, but I have absolutly no idea who actually comes in to my blog and reads. So yeah if you come in and read this and feel that it is something fun that you would like to do, then TAG!! You're it!! Take care and I hope that all is well for everyone in cyberland!!

Valentine's and Other fun things going on.

Well another Vaentine's day has come and gone. A very Happy Anniversary to Ron and Louise as it was their 28th Anniversary and we want to extend our congratulations to them and wish them many more happy years together. The picture above is of the beautiful necklace that Rob gave me. In case you don't know, Breast Cancer Awareness is the charity that I have the deepest conviction for. I am not sure why that one in particular means the most to me, but I buy as many things as I can to support that specific cause. Rob is even trying to find me golf clubs that support it. And they make them too!! Maybe when he buys me them, then I may actually take him up on those lessons. He hasn't taken me golfing in 2 years because he feels that he shouldn't be my teacher because he doesn't have the patience. Although I think that the first year he took me and taught me, he was a wonderful teacher and I only missed golfing 2 holes out of 18. Not bad for a beginner. At least none of his clubs went into the lake like my dad's did when he began teaching my mom....(Sorry mom, I still think it is overly funny. I love you!!) I am a little sad that this year I won't get any in either as I will be either too big to golf or have a newborn which I am sure they don't allow on the golf carts!! So sadly this will be year number 3. But hey, I guess it's only golf. JR spent last night with Nanny and Poppa and he always has a great time with them. He loves to spend time with his best bud. He and Poppa are 2 peas in a pod. Jr also got invited to his very first birthday party from a classmate. I am so very excited. We actually get to send out invitations this year for his and plan for something a little bigger this year for JR. The big 4. Wow, I can hardly believe he will be 4 already. My baby is growing up. But they do that. And before we know it, we will have the latest Souster to join our family.

I feel really good right now. I am at 18 weeks and feel great. I can't believe that I am already nearly halfway there. I started feeling defined movements in there a little more than a week ago, but they seem to be getting stronger and harder. I was watching a movie with Rob last night and I had my hand on my belly and I actually felt the kick or the punch on the outside of my belly. I layed down with Rob and hoped that he would feel these strong movemnets, but alas they are not strong enough yet for him to feel. But that's fine, they will get stronger and eventually there will be no denying what he will be feeling. I can't help but laugh and giggle when Jellybean gets moving and going full tilt. It is just the funniest feeling. I wish that I could describe what it feels like as 2 of my mothers have not ever felt that and I want to share in this joy with them in every possible way. I will keep thinking and eventually I will come up with something. Anyhow, I just wanted to update things and hope that everyone is safe and happy. Love you all!!

Here are some pics. The top of course is our little one, the middle is my most recent pic, although I look far more pregnant in that shirt than I really am. It was done about 15 weeks and 5 days. And the botoom pic is at 13 weeks and 4 days. I will be back to write more later.

The newest Souster

So yesterday I had the priviledge of going for an ultrasound. Jellybean was just as active as ever. It looked as if "he" was dancing and playing up a storm. I am pretty sure that he even stuck his toes in his mouth once. It was the best thing ever and I had a permanent grin on my face for the rest of the day. How could I not seeing how happy he looked? The tech said he was at least good for her when she was measuring him and he seemed to know when she needed to measure certain things, because he tended to turn at the right times in the right positions. But at this point, we are so far so good. He looked perfect. Good strong heartbeat and all his organs looked good and formed. We have another routine ultrasound on March 13th and the will tell us whether or not we for sure are having another boy. But from what the tech and I saw, we are fairly certain that it looks like another little boy in there. But it is just our guess. Looked like a pretty educated one though. And when I went to pick JR up from school I took the picture with me to show his teacher Michelle cause she has been on needles this whole pregnancy for us. So I brought the picture out and showed JR, and he just yelled out with excitment..."Jr's baby!!" He seems really to be getting excited. I can't wait to take him to the next ultrasound so that he can see for himself this little Jellybean. I am wondering what he will think of it. I can't wait to find out. But that is the update for now.

On to a New Year!

Hello everyone!! Welcome to 2009. The holidays have been a very busy time for us. We spent the majority of our holiday down in Yuma with Rob's parents. That was most certainly an experience and a half. We flew in to Vegas and then drove for 4 hours and almost got lost before we ended up getting to their place. Yuma is a very spread out city that is smaller than it should be because it is so spread apart. But what scenery. There was oddly shaped cacti everywhere in shapes and sizes that I had never before seen. We came to find out that all of these other things that we thought were just really weird bushes were really cacti. We were very surprised. Rob and JR enjoyed some time in the Jeep with Grandpa going out in the desert. That was a fun experience for JR. When they returned JR came in with a pocket full of 22 shells that he had searched and hunted diligently for. He was so very proud. It was a lot of fun for him and his dad to have that bonding time with Grandpa. I was just kinda enjoying the time to relax and actually take a nap as that is something that I have not had the joy of doing too often with this pregnancy. You could definitely tell though when JR was starting to get bored because he would go out and get into a little bit of trouble. Louise and I were in the house watching some TV and getting some things ready for dinner I think one day and JR was outside playing with Reno (their Chocolate Lab) or so we thought. When we finished doing what we had needed to do we went out to their Arizona Room (which is like a sheltered sun room) and her cigarette pack was on the ground empty and squished. Well that really got our curiosity going so Louise was asking JR where her cigarettes were and I went outside into the yard to see if I could find the evidence. Sure enough, there in an ashtray on the ground were all of her cigarettes, broken and placed neatly in the ashtray. It took everything in my power to not laugh myself to death because Louise certainly didn't find it all that funny. When Rob came home I told him what JR had done and he burst into a fit of laughter. We found it incredibly funny how he knew to put them there. Now Louise has learnt to put her things up higher when little fingers can't get them. (Although none of us would have imagined JR would do that..LOL) On the 28th we drove back to Vegas and along the way we wanted to try and get to see the Hoover Dam. What a great idea we thought. Until it took us an hour to get 8 miles. We got about a quarter of a mile from the dam when we noticed that the lineup of cars on the other side of the dam was just as long as the one on our side. We knew we couldn't risk missing our flight so we turned around and went back to the highway. Drove into Vegas and wanted to take a jaunt down the Strip to get to the rental car center. That in turn took us nearly an hour and thankfully we didn't have to clear customs otherwise we would likely have been in a little trouble.

Flying in to Salt Lake was a good flight and JR did very well on that one. He was so excited to see Grandma Smith that he actually ran right to her and hugged her. That truly surprised us all!! He very rarely does that for anyone so we are not entirely positive if it was just a fluke or not. It was nice to see either way. So we had a jam packed two days to spend with my mom and dad. We saw Jason and Tracey and Lizzy on Monday and spent the whole day with them. We went to the mall in Layton and I bought some pants and Rob went with my dad to buy a wireless router so we could have more contact without being strapped down to the computer. We had a great time in the short time we had with them.

Now that brings us to now. It is the second of January and I have made it my goal this year to not make any resolutions as they always fail anyhow. Instead I have made small goals. I figure those are easier to keep. I am going to continue to eat healthier so that this baby has the best start at life that it can. I am going to continue to be active so that when the time comes to loose the weight, I may have an easier time doing so. Last year was a tough year for Rob and I personally so I want to continue making my life and my time with him as valued as possible. Take time to enjoy the finer things in life and appreciate what has been given to me. I am so grateful for my family, my friends and anyone who means anything to me and I am going to strive to let them know more often.

I wish you a very safe, happy and prosperous 2009 and I hope that we all can have more time together this year!!

Struggles in life

I just wanted to take a moment since I do so so little to write about the struggles that people have in life. It seems that for some more than others, people have more struggles than the next guy. For example, we sit and we see all these people around us who seem to be doing well in life and we sit here wondering when we will catch a break. Rob works hard to provide for us and some weeks we hardly see him just to scrape by by the seat of our pants. We see other people work half the hours and are able to buy all the things they need but more of the luxories they want. Seriously, we are not sure how to fix this yet, but one thing that we have that others don't, is a committed family environment. It seems like these other people, though married and what not, still lead the lives of single people just with someone to come home to at night. Do we envy their ability to travel at a moments notice, sometimes. Do we envy them not having to show responsibility once in a while, sure. But do we envy them not having a warm hug and a sloppy wet kiss from a little person who is always wanting love? Absolutely not. We wouldn't trade that for the world. It almost makes all these struggles and hard times feel worth it when we turn around after a bad day and that little voice says, "Night night!" And there is not a greater feeling than a mis-pronounced I love you coming from that little voice too. And the fact that we are blessed with another one on the way just adds to the joy that we feel. Will we struggle a little harder, sure we will. Will we let it get us down, no way. Because when our family is complete, it will all seem worth it in the end. And knowing that every stretch mark and gray hair that we may find on oursleves were earned and not just there. Family is what makes the world go 'round and if you are not privaledged to have such an incredible blessing, then I feel sorry for you. If you feel sorry for me because I can't have the freedom to do as I please, then you are disillusioned in your thoughts. I have all the freedom that I chose to have. I asked for this life. I wanted this life. I feel so blessed that I was chosen to be a mother to my 2 beautiful children. Ashleigh and JR are the light of my life. I may not be able to be a full time mother to one of them, but she is still something that I am proud to say that I accomplished. She gave me an experience that only she could have. Each of my babies gave me their own individual experience as they are individuals themselves. So when I think of these struggles that we seem to have, I think of my babies and it seems to make it all worth while.