Journey to weight loss

So here it is. I am going to lay it all out on the the line right now. I started this weight loss venture 1 week ago today. I began the loading phase of the HCG diet. I spent 2 very uncomfortable days eating and drinking myself ridiculously full. I didn't sleep well and couldn't go to the bathroom to save my life. It was far from fun contrary to what all the posts say about how much people enjoyed it. It most definitely made me see that that is not how I wanted to eat ever again. (And shockingly I didn't gain even an ounce!!) Then on that Friday, I began my 500 calorie-per-day regime which will last anywhere from 18-40 days. It was hard, but I made my lunch before I went off to work and then enjoyed my dinner when I came home. Ate my snacks throughout the day and stayed within my calorie perimeters. When I went to bed I knew I was ready for it and I haven't slept that good in a very long time. I felt rested and almost lighter when I got up in the morning. Despite the major urge to pee!! LOL. I stepped on the scale and it took everything I had not to scream!! 5 pounds I lost over night. It amazes me just how much water I was retaining. I was enjoying making my new meals and have found a new love of asparagus too!! So now I am on day 7 (5 of phase 2) I feel great. My headaches have nearly subsided and my energy levels are good. I don't have heartburn anymore because surprise surprise, fattening foods cause heartburn!!! Who EVER knew that?? LOL. I don't seem to feel a lot of tempation and it is good to know that I have the control over myself. I know that I will start getting healthy foods even after this more than I used to. And now on day 7 I am down 10 pounds!! That is so exciting. So for now, I am signing off. I will continue updating on my quest to keep everyone updated. Live healthy!!

Why is there always drama?

You know, I am really getting tired of having some sort of drama everywhere I go. Do I just scream, "Hello, here I am!! Follow me please!! I need to have something going on in my life to keep me stressed out!!" Truly, I am getting so tired of it. I am starting to wonder if my life will ever be free of these particular stresses that are not necessary in life. Why can my life not just have the same stresses that normal people have day to day? Iam really curious. And it always seems like I get the rotten end of the stick. I'm so very tired of it. Honestly, if ever there was a time in my life that I needed to get rid of all of it, the time is now. And I am sincerely trying. I have tried to throw out those friendships which are not healthy for me and my relationships with my family. Started working to try and gain a little more self respect and esteem for myself and help with the financial stresses that seem to plague everyone these days. But even then, some sort of drama and issue seems to follow me. It saddens me and makes me so frustrated. Does it ever end? I hope that someday, I can find something that makes me truly happy and is easy to do.

Now on another note, a much happier one, Chase will be celebrating his first birthday tomorrow!! I am so excited for him. I can't believe how quickly this year has gone. They seem to go by faster and faster. So we will be celebrating our last "first" birthday tomorrow. Hopefully Mom and Dad will be able to make it in to celebrate in the festivities with us. I am sure they will though as they always tend to be able to make it. It's so exciting and I look forward to the traditional cake!! It's going to be great. Pics will follow the party!!

All the best!!

Work, work, work

Well since last post I have taken up a job at the gym that I go to. I accepted the night Customer Service Rep job and work 9PM to 5AM. Tough shift, but all in all not too bad. Night 2 came and went without too much incident. My internet seemed to have crashed somewhere around 1 or 2 AM and no matter what I did I could not figure out what the problem was. I went all over the place trying to see if there was something unplugged or something of that sort. Unfortunately I could find nothing wrong. So I finally gave in and just waited until someone came in for the morning shift. Even they couldn't figure out what the issue was. So looks like I am not the only one confused. But it looks like I am on my own now because the regular night person just had his last shift with me tonight and is now off to his new job. I am fine with it. It is so strange sometimes being the ONLY person in that great big place. Music as loud as I want and playing what I want to hear. Being able to read a book is really quite fun too. It amazes me how quickly the body and mind can adjust to time changes. It's 630 in the morning and normally I am still really tired from lack of sleep from the previous night, but with me not having been to bed yet, I am just winding down. Hoping to get Jr out of bed here right away and going to the dayhome. Chase is already up and dressed. But he is the early riser of the family. I must admit, spending so much time away from my kids is a little strange to me. I have not spent this much time away from them ever. I miss them quite a bit, but I would not be the first Mom to have had to go to work. Rob has taken on the night responsibility with Chase and has not complained about it which makes me happy. I am thrilled that he can hear him at night and am grateful to him for the help he has extended so that I can work and help pull my part in supporting this family that he has worked so hard to provide for in the past 6 years. I only hope that my little paycheck can help to lighten his load a little bit. He is so stressed out these days but I do sincerely love him for trying to not complain about it. Things have been tough but we are trying to come together to figure them out. Hopefully he doesn't have to continue to work the entire weekends through so that we do have at least some time to spend with one another. Anyways, time to go get Jr up and at 'em. Take care and I'll write again soon!!

A new thing that I truly love.

So in my quest for weight loss, I have been looking for alternatives to things that I just simply feel I cannot live without. One thing in particular, spaghetti. I adore spaghetti and crave it a couple of times a month. Noodles alone will kill the any chance of loosing anything. LOL. So I figured that I would try spaghetti squash (which I have on many occasions) I have had a few meals consisting of the sweet and slightly crisp gord. But last night I sat there while my family ate spaghetti with regular noodles and me with my squash and realized exactly how wonderful it felt to go back for a second helping and not feel over full and best of all, not guilty!! I figured that it was time to start eating that more often when I want spaghetti as it is a very safe choice for a food that I love.

And cantaloupe. I have always enjoyed it but never sat down and taken the time to truly enjoy it. It is a pretty amazing fruit. But I tend to be the only person in my house that eats it for some strange reason. It is one of Rob's faves but he still would much prefer to sit down with a bag of chips. Boy is that tough for me. It is so unbelievably tough to change the one that one eats. Especially when you are the only person in the house who has a desire to do it. People complain about gaining weight in this house but then sit down with ALL the wrong foods. And it's so strange how the right foods are the most expensive ones. It's no wonder it is so difficult to want to change what we eat. It's frustrating is what it is.

But here I sit, only complaining about it. I can't ask the other people in my home to change their eating habits. They are going to have to want to do it on their own. Mind you with Rob's help, I have had to not make 2 differnt meals every day. Sometimes if I make something that I know Jr won't eat at all I will make him a little something different. But Rob has gotten a little more strict with him and he has been sitting with us and eating the meals that I make. That makes me happy. So I will keep updating about my venture. Which isn't easy as we all know.

Happy Spring everyone.

Nearly Spring

Well, it has been far too long since I last wrote. I am really bad at this whole blogging thing. I wish I was better at it, but sadly, all I cna do it try and improve myself in this area. So much has happened since I last wrote.

Chase is nearly 9 months old now. The time has flown by so fast. It seems like the more kids you have the faster the time goes for us as parents watching them grow. He crawls and still has no teeth, but I am satisfied that he will have strong healthy teeth. He babbles on and on in his baby talk and Rob and I just love it. He has such an amazing curious little personality. He's really getting fun. It's amazing how Chase and JR differ. The two of them are completly different. It is hard to believe they came from the same parents. But Chase is really a good baby. Just doesn't sleep as well as he probably could and eats ALL the time.

JR is doing great. His speech has really come along well. The school team at his school are hoping to try and refer him to a full time kindergarten class that is specialized for children with speech issues as he is still not exactly up to speed on that. But they are continuing to work hard with him as are we at home. He is almost 5 and turning into a little man already. He is so independant and has an imagination the size of Texas. It's really fun to watch. He enjoys school and I hope that he continues to enjoy it.

Rob has started a job in an office here. It's a marketing company that supplies the wholesalers and contractors in various plumbing products. He is enjoying it for the most part. It has been a really hard adjustment going from the tools to an office job and working weekends for extra spending money. He works a lot. But he likes money so it's worth it in the end. LOL. He had a nice long vacation a couple weeks back. Drove down to Arizona to visit Ron and Louise and do some 4x4ing and really enjoyed it. It was really what he needed although that man doesn't know how to slow down or relax. So even on vacation it was always go, go, go!! I think I physically spoke with him on the phone for maybe an hour in total in 13 days. So he was constantly on the move or in the desert somewhere. He also spent 2 days in Vegas and that was when he decided that that would be the place he wants to take me first. Then we can hold off on Mexico or someplace hot until the boys are both old enough to get shipped off for a longer period of time.

As for me, nothing much changes for me. I signed up to walk 60 kms in the summer for the Weekend to End Women's Cancers. I am really looking forward to it. It is going to be an incredibly hard thing to do but so rewarding. It is still far more easier to walk 60k than to fight breast or cervical cancer. I am very excited to be part of making a difference in this field. I also signed up to a brand new gym that is opening this week. And also looking forward to making a difference in my life and my health. I have a bit of weight to loose and am anxious and excited to do so.

So all in all, life in the Souster home is going well and we are all happy and healthy. Excited for summer to come and do some camping.

Introducing...

So the day has come and gone already. But regardless, I just finally have a moment to sit and write. July 4th was an incredibly eventful day for the Souster family. It's unbelievable that the one thing that I didn't think was really going to happen did. Chase was born on Grandpa Souster's birthday. How funny. I just didn't think that it would turn out that way, but lo and behold it did. And we couldn't be more thrilled. Chase Anthony Patrick came into this world fast and furious on Saturday, July 4th, 2009 at 12:30 P.M. The whole story is actually kinda humorous as things went completly backwards for me. Not once with the other 2 children that I had, did my water break.

So here I am on July 3rd getting ready to eat an ice cream sandwich and watch a movie, when all of a sudden, I felt this small gush of fluid. "Holy crap!!" I said as I jumped off the chair. Louise and Rob were looking at me like I lost my mind. I looked at them and told them that I think my water just broke. And just as those words came out of my mouth, chaos erupted in my home. I called Katharina my doula and told her the situation. She asked if contractions had started and I told her I felt nothing at all. Not even the smallest of Braxton Hicks. So she said that I should call the labour and delivery ward of the hospital and so I did. They told me that I should come in as things could potentially start quickly. So I hung up and immediately Rob gets on the phone making calls to people to tend to JR and Louise almost seemed to be in a panic. I think I was the calmest one at this point..LOL.

So my water broke at about 730 PM and by 8 we were at the hospital all checked in and in a case room waiting for something to start. I was under the impression that when ones water breaks (especially mine) things start and progress. My past has proven that once my water is broken, things go at lightning speed. So I was totally confused when absolutely nothing at all was happening. So Rob came home to get some sleep and Louise stayed with me at the hospital.

We tried with little success to get some rest. Louise has problems sleeping without her meds and we were both just far too anxious. But I managed somehow to get a little bit. I woke about 4 and was put on the monitor for a bit and it showed that still nothing was going on at all. So the nurses suggested that I take a hot shower to try and relax myself and get some more sleep. So I did just that and still woke up at 6 not able to sleep anymore. So since Louise was up, her and I talked about what was going to happen. The doctor on call for the night told the nurses that I was given 12 hours before they would pretty well force me to go on the drip which was something I was not wanting. But I know the risks to babies if they go too long with no water. So Louise and I weighed out the pros and cons of starting things going. We both decided that it was best that I bring it up to the nurses to start the drip and then I could still feel like I was in control of the situation. So at 7 when the nurse came in to check on me, I told her that we should get things going. She agreed and got right to work. She started my IV and then threw me on a very slow drip to try and see if we could just stimulate my natural oxytocin to kick in.

After waiting for things to kick in for about an hour, they came in, checked me and still no contractions. So they uped my dose. This pattern continued from about 730 AM to about 1130 AM when the resident on call came in to check me. She said that the problem could be what they call forewaters which is created by my waters breaking somewhere up higher rather than lower and the force of the baby's head pushes down and creates a pocket that prevents proper dilation. Sure enough, when she checked, she could tell that that was exactly what had happend. So she waited for a contraction to start to try and break the pocket but since I wasn't having any contractions, that was next to imposible to accomplish. So the resident uped my dose once again and joked how nobody on the ward expected me to have to be put up to the dose that I was at. I could hardly believe it myself.

Rob had gone to call my Mom and Dad and tell them that still nothing was happening. This was at 1145 and he came back in we were talking about pretty well anything we could think of at this point when all of a sudden I felt this incredibly strange feeling and twinge of pain. It was the oddest thing I had felt all night and day since my water broke. It kinda hurt too. Everyone was looking at me wondering what in the world was going on. Rob asked me if I wanted him to get someone and let them know that something was going on and I told him that I wasn't too sure. Sure enough less than 2 mins after that strange pain, I started to have my first real contraction. And holy crap was it intense. I breathed through it with ease and thought that if that was all it was going to be, then this was going to be a breeze. Then after that one subsided, another 2 minutes passed and another one started. More intense than the last. And I felt the incredible urge to push. So Rob went out to get someone and tell them and the resident came in and checked me. Not just 10 minutes before when she checked me I was at 5 cms and zero percent effaced, now I was 100 percent effaced and 7 cms. So they started to get everything together and ready for the delivery and I asked to go to the shower with these incredible pains and so Katharina helped me into the shower and in the midst of having all this pain I managed to sit for a moment on the seat in the shower. Bad idea. I felt the urge to push again so I squatted on the floor of the shower and was screaming that I needed to push. So Katharina said that I needed to get out of the shower onto the bed. So I left the shower and slowly made my way to the bed. With the contractions coming right on top of each other it was difficult none to say the least. I put the head of the bed almost all the way up and Katharina got behind the bed and held my hands as I dug my head into the bed through the contractions. She kept me breathing right and truly was my lifesaving grace that day. The resident came in and checked me said that if I got on my side, I would have this baby in 10 minutes. Wrong, I was having him in less than that just the way I was, on hands and knees. The resident asked if I would get on my back because after the test push, I was ready to start. I just presented her my butt and she got the hint...LOL.

I heard the resident laugh and say, "Well I guess this is just the way we are having this baby...I am going to need another pair of hands in here to help me catch him." I told them that I needed to push and the resident told me that I could do whatever my body told me to do. And I listened only to her, Katharina and what my body was telling me. It only took about 3 good pushes and there Chase was in all his 6 pound 15 ounce glory. He was gorgeous and I was feeling fabulous. With all said and done, I only had about 14 contractions and 7 mins of pushing and all natural. Just the way I wanted it. I was so thrilled that it went more like the way I planned than I thought it would. It was pefect and well worth it.

So there it is in print. The story of Chase coming into this world. A beautiful day indeed.

Wow, I really have not done a good job at keeping up with this. March has long since passed and here I sit with less than 6 weeks until we will have this baby join us. That is so very exciting and scary all at the same time. My body is ready to have this baby, but our home is not. Neither Rob nor I have really gone to any measures to ready or prepare ourselves for the joining of a new family member. Realistically I think that we both have tried to ignore the fact and I am afraid that we may ignore it until the time comes when it is too late. And then panick will set in for Rob more so than me. At least our baby has a bed. Which is a good thing. But that is about all we have. We have a bassinet. No special room that he will call his own yet. Our office still occupies the space that would be his room. I don't feel all that great about that as the time is coming quickly and I am fairly certain that I am not going to have the energy to do all of those changes on my own. Although I may have some help come June 30th when Louise is flying in. Bless her heart for coming to be here with us and help us in whatever way possible. She may not know babies, but she sure knows cleaning and I look forward to the helping hand she will give in those precious first few days of our sons life. I know it would be so difficult to do it on my own with needing to care for JR and the new baby all at the same time and dealing with being tired to start and Rob most likely not being able to get off work. I also look forward to my parents coming here and bringing Ashleigh. It will be so nice to have all three of my kids with me for the first weeks of Chase's life. I am truly looking forward to it. Anyways, just a small note for now. I will come back and catch up more later.